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Fourth-year business major Matthew Brooks spent the first weekend of school in Las Vegas, where he had a life-changing, poker-filled experience.
After a turbulence-free plane ride, Brooks landed safe and sound at McCarran International Airport. Burdened by the knowledge that his time in the "City of Sin" was as limited as his checking account, Brooks hailed a cab and set forth towards The Imperial Palace Hotel and Casino.
"It was one of the craziest things I have ever seen. I walk into the lobby and I see Christina Aguilera on stage behind the blackjack table," Brooks explained of his bemusement. "What was even more shocking was what happened after her set. She hits the final note of 'Genie in a Bottle,' hops off stage, and replaces the blackjack dealer in front of her-who happened to be Little Richard, by the way. I know Christina was fake, but I honestly think that was the Little Richard. I mean, he did just do a Geico commercial."
Although the tacky performances caught his eye, Brooks did not fly to Vegas to be serenaded by Dealertainers (yes, that is what they are called). Brooks spent most of his time at the finer casinos on the strip, his favorite being the infamous Caesar's Palace, where he created fond memories with his fellow gamblers.
"There was this one foreign guy named Fronk. Not Frank, F-R-O-N-K Fronk. He looked like a Norwegian action hero. He had a barbed wire tattoo that started at his right wrist, went around his chest, and down the right side of his body. Surprisingly, he was one of the nicest guys I have ever met."
Brooks also spoke fondly of some Israel natives who shared a similar fervor for Texas hold 'em.
"Marc and Jack were their names. They asked me if I knew any Hebrew so I shared a couple of phrases my Jewish friends had taught me. You probably couldn't print them in a newspaper, but let's just say Marc and Jack got quite a laugh out of them."
Although Fronk, Marc and Jack served as a convenient means of entertainment between hands, no one enhanced Brook's poker experience as much as a talented young woman by the name of Lizzie.
"I'm not sure, but I think it was love. The minute she put her hands on my shoulders I lost track of what I was doing…so I paid her for 59 more," Brooks explained of his experience with one of the casino massage therapists. "I did everything I could to extend the time without having to pay. I even wrote her a poem."
If the women were not diverting Brooks' attention, the celebrities were. Some of these figures of fame were just as alluring in person as they appear in the media.
"I saw LeBron James. There is only one way to describe that man-huge. He was surrounded by four of the biggest bodyguards you could imagine and his head still stuck out like a periscope. He walks like you would expect someone who makes over 20 million dollars a year to play basketball to walk."
As Brooks assessed his numerous lasting memories of Vegas on the plane ride back home, he was surprised to discover his financial standings.
"I made 400 dollars playing poker in the coolest city in the United States of America, even after losing $1,400 in one hand. After airfare, hotel expenses, dining expenses and Lizzie expenses my entire trip cost me about 100 bucks. That's not too shabby."
Money was not the only positive Brooks took away from Vegas. After years of watching poker on television and hours of playing online, Brooks can finally say he knows what it is like to play poker like a pro.
"A lot of people think online poker is similar to the real thing. As far as I am concerned, you haven't truly played poker until you recite a poem to your masseuse while sitting next to a Nordic action hero and exchange foreign curse words with 'chosen' people."
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