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Let's pretend for a moment that you, the faithful reader, had a hidden camera installed in my bedroom earlier this semester.
(A ridiculous idea, of course, because everyone knows that showerheads are much better suited to conceal a hidden camera than, say, my mini-fridge.)
Most nights, 2 a.m. probably wouldn't be an interesting time to check that camera because that's when I lay down on my bed and practice playing dead for hours at a time.
However, were you to have checked that camera Monday and Tuesday nights this week, you would have been forced to come to one of two conclusions: either (A) I had tried out for a part in the new movie "Honey, I Shrunk the Newspaper Columnist" and been reduced to the size of a subatomic particle, or (B) I was conspicuously missing.
The answer, of course, is (B). The movie doesn't film until next semester.
So what was I, an upstanding and responsible defender of academic achievement, doing out of bed in the middle of the night on a weekday? Nothing other than checking out Columbia's newest late-night hot spot, Club Cooper!
Next time you hear someone refer to it as the Thomas Cooper Library, smack them in the face and shout "No! Bad girl! Bad, bad girl!" (This works especially well if the offender is a male.) Club Cooper it is.
It's been an underground (ha, ha) sensation for years. Now, they're open 24 hours. The party never stops!
Under 21 years old? No problem.
Broke? Ladies get in free EVERY NIGHT. Amazing.
They do their part to be all-inclusive during the day, but just be aware that it turns into a private club every night at 11 p.m. The market for counterfeit USC student IDs has exploded.
You can even get paid to stand around and check people out all night long! Literally!
I had heard about this place before, in University 101 and such, but I had always put it in the same category as the dentist's office and Chinese restaurants - I mean, you can go if you want, but why on earth would you want to?
In this case, I had a couple of research papers to serve as motivation. I tried hanging out at Club Cooper, and compared to nights I've spent at Five Points or the Vista, these were surprisingly productive.
So next time you feel like venturing out into the night to see what kind of trouble you can get yourself into, pack a notebook and your iPod and give Club Cooper a shot. In fact, make it a double.
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