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USC isn't the only institution with a kind of lame theme song.
Our national anthem, the venerable "Star-Spangled Banner," is simply fit as a piece of music for a nation as wealthy and powerful as the United States.
Our national anthem is problematic on several levels. First of all, the tune originated in Britain while we were at war with them. Far from being intended as a great patriotic anthem, it was a drinking song. Which makes sense, since its key signature and range make it difficult to sing. The lyrics, much-celebrated, are an account of a battle, which makes sense; our nation was forged in war and sustained by its military prowess.
However, the battle in question - Fort McHenry - is mentioned next to nowhere else in American history. If it were about raising the flag at Yorktown or Iwo Jima, that would be another matter altogether, but name one thing you know about the attack on Baltimore other than the song it spawned and the war it was a part of.
For my money, the best national anthem in history is the Hymn of the Soviet Union. How good is it? When the communist government fell, the new democratic government liked the tune so much they kept it and just changed the lyrics to reflect the fact that they were no longer the party of Lenin. It's loud, bombastic and in cut time, which makes it easy to march to. Even the song it replaced "The Internationale," was immeasurably better than our national anthem.
Maybe it's democracy that's the problem. The Greeks, inventors of democracy, hold their hands over their hearts to "Hymn to Liberty," which sounds more like carnival music than an anthem. The Israelis, the bastion of democracy in the Middle East, have "Hatikva," which is depressing enough to cover anti-Jewish sentiment from the Nazis all the way back to the Egyptians.
Even the French have a better national anthem than we do. The music is good enough for the Beatles to put a bit of "La Marseillaise" into the opening of "All You Need Is Love," but its main advantages are its historical relevance - it's about the Revolution - and the lyrics. The French, who have a stunningly bad military record, have a national anthem with a chorus with this line: "May tainted blood / Water our fields." Even for the French, that's pretty badass. Where can we get an anthem like that?
We could dip into our own collection of patriotic songs, but the only thing we've got that's big enough is the "Battle Hymn of the Republic," but the pro-religion, pro-war and pro-Northern sentiments expressed there will probably offend somebody. We need new lyrics married with a classic tune like that, or any Sousa march, or something from classic Copeland. Only then will America have a national anthem of sufficient prestige to match the nation's.
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