After much deliberation, The Gamecock editorial board has decided to take a stance on the Carolina-Clemson issue. Our conclusion: Clemson sucks.
It's a sad testimony of the educational level of South Carolina when the second-largest research university in the state can't even pronounce its name. Clempson prides itself on originality, with its orange overalls and its policy allowing fans on the field after the game.
But the only thing distinctive about Clemson is that god-awful orange its fans insist on wearing. Countless high school, college and pro teams share the tiger mascot, and at least two schools - Auburn and LSU - use Tiger Rag as its fight song. If Tiger Rag is the "song that shakes the Southland," it's shaking at least two other Southern schools as well. You'll also hear a lot about "the most exciting 25 seconds in college football" that Brent Musberger said about Clemson rubbing a rock and stumbling down a hill. There's no drama - fans don't even know what's going on until the team is already on the field.
Then there's 1980 and Clemson's fraudulent national championship under the questionable recruiting practices of Danny Ford. Much like South Carolina's 1984 season, Clemson fans point to the holy year of 1981 as they went 12-0 and defeated Nebraska in the Orange Bowl to win the national championship. Ford was fired in 1989 to avoid an NCAA investigation. Ever since then, Clemson fans have really showed their loyalty to the program by staying away from Death Valley when times got tough. In 1993, Clemson averaged nearly 10,000 fewer fans than the previous season and rejoiced when coach Ken Hatfield was fired. The reason? Clemson lost three games and Hatfield's .770 winning percentage just wasn't good enough.
We could have done the politically correct editorial for rivalry week, touting the benefits of both schools, wishing a safe game and enjoyable time for fans - but all we really want to do is beat the crap out of Clemson. It's rivalry week. Talk as much trash as possible. We recommend the classic "cow college" jokes as well as the timely Duke slam. And don't worry - no matter how much we talk trash about Clemson, they always stoop lower, with drunk students in Death Valley two years ago passing around a giant inflatable penis while standing on a grassy hill.
As you can tell, we've given this issue careful thought. Go Cocks, and long live rivalry.
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