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My fellow students, I appear before you today with a simple suggestion.
I suggest we begin referring to the wonderful tool known collectively as the Internet to the more fitting term, the Allbrain.
Doing so will more accurately describe our relation and foreseeable future relation with the Internet. The Internet is little more than the culmination of all knowledge created by the human race and acts as a communal brain where all can access its vast tomes of unfiltered knowledge and creativity.
We've all used it as a surrogate brain at one point or another. With a paper due in minutes, a quick trip into the pool of human knowledge will grant us necessary and unnecessary facts we can pepper our papers with in attempts to fool readers into thinking we have an individual mastery of the subject at hand.
Thanks to the Allbrain, classical training to earn a profession is outdated. With access to the Allbrain anyone can learn the necessary skills and information needed to become anything they wish.
Want to be a doctor? Access the Allbrain and absorb all the medical knowledge - erroneous or not - and become the most knowledgeable doctor the world has ever known without ever stepping into a classroom.
I've become a fireman, pilot and taxidermist all thanks to the Allbrain and you can too. Eventually every person will have a working knowledge of how to do anything they wish. With the Allbrain, we no longer have to watch our television or listen to music on archaic mediums. The Allbrain acts like that friend we all have who can quote any episode of any television show they've ever watched, only much more so.
The Allbrain is better than your one friend because it's made up of thousands of these friends and instead of listening to them recount televised events, Allbrain's limitless data banks allow us to watch the show or even download the newest music before we have to go to the store and get it ourselves. We'll absorb pics, videos, comics, news and all other media via the Allbrain.
With the Allbrain we will slowly begin to develop new personas. As every individual accesses the Allbrain they begin to conform to its social rules and act with the impunity and brutal honesty that the anonymity of the Allbrain allows. Slowly all cultures will blend together to become one with the Allbrain's culture and all humans will learn how to interact based on the cultural laws of the Allbrain.
Eventually we'll completely lose the need to interact face to face, substituting the intangible nuances of face-to-face conversation and body language with emoticons.
?_? See what I'm saying?
Eventually we'll enter a state of mind where we are completely connected to the Allbrain, and we'll be able to limit ourselves to 140 characters in which to express our thoughts ;p
Once we start behaving as a global society the Allbrain will grow faster.
Boundaries of sensitivity will fall and past differences will fade away, fyi.
Chants of "Allbrain!" will ring out from every keyboard, as we become permanent extensions of the Allbrain. Lol.
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