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In 1995 an assistant coach at Florida said no opponent had ever scored 50 points in Athens. A few hours later, after hanging 52 on the Georgia Bulldogs, Steve Spurrier was just minding his own business and jogging back to the locker room. As he crossed the goal line, one of the few Georgia fans that hadn't left tossed a cup filled with tobacco spit at Spurrier. The cup missed, not surprisingly. If they had that much trouble getting in the end zone during the game, why would afterward be any different?
Ah yes, Georgia - where tobacco spit is the weapon of choice, and the women don't just look like dogs, they bark like them, too.
I guess they can't help it. They come from a state that incorporated the confederate battle flag as the major design on their state flag until 2001, and a university whose alumni and students are known for barking at opposing players.
Even the campus is suspect. Athens is like Columbia, only with less diversity and more Birkenstocks. Take away Atlanta and Georgia is just another Alabama - moonshine-making mouth-breathers with nothing to do but sit around and grossly overestimate their importance to the rest of the college football world.
Coming off their victory against Boise State, Georgia fans are busy touting quarterback D.J. Shockley as a Heisman candidate and are predicting a blowout versus the Gamecocks. Well, if you're looking for us to be scared, stop wasting your time. You beat a team from Idaho that plays on blue turf. Congratulations. Not only that, but their quarterback, Jared Zabransky, coughed up the ball six times in the first half. SIX TIMES in the FIRST HALF. It looked like he was channeling Ryan Leaf out there. I've only seen one meltdown like that ever in college sports, and let me just say that the year was 2000, the place was Williams-Brice Stadium and Quincy Carter was prominently involved.
As far as Shockley being a Heisman candidate, he might be the No. 2 passer in the nation, but that also makes him the No. 2 passer in the stadium Saturday night - behind Blake Mitchell. I'm not sure if the Heisman has ever gone to a guy that rode the bench for four years, but don't let me rain on your parade. Instead of the Heisman maybe he should be in the running for the slightly less prestigious Woody Dantzler Overrated Player of the Year award.
Speaking of overrated, if I see a shot of an overweight sweater-wearing bulldog being paraded down the sidelines by an equally overweight cheerleader one more time, the next dog I see is getting spayed and/or neutered. You, and every other unoriginal school in America, are the Bulldogs. We get it.
As if the barking wasn't enough to let us all know they are rednecks, they made "Glory, Glory" (also known as "Battle Hymn of the Republic") their fight song for good measure. The last time I heard that song wasn't after a Georgia touchdown but when a horn from a rust-colored 1987 Chevy blew at me on Interstate 20 West.
With all that said, I'll give them this: They have been the better football team lately (although their record against us the last five years is 3-2). But Dawg fans, the only problem is that there is a new guy in town, and he won't sit on a 16-0 lead like last year. If anybody knows that, it's you.
A Georgia fan once told me that after Steve Spurrier lost to UGA as a player, he dedicated himself to making sure that one weekend a year every Georgia fan's life was a living hell. He was right. Saturday night, USC's Fighting Gamecocks are coming to Athens - and hell's coming with 'em.
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