Party like your major is your birthday, Feb. 11 12:30 a.m.
A very confused and inebriated student attempted to answer seemingly simple questions for police at Bates House. When asked his date of birth he replied, "Mechanical engineering." His difficulty comprehending basic questions was accompanied by slurred speech, dilated pupils and difficulty sitting upright. His friend claimed he had "a few shots." If his brain function is limited to that extent after only "a few shots," maybe he should reconsider that engineering major.
Who do you know here?, Feb. 11 4:22 p.m.
Police identified a man matching the description of a suspicious person seen in the Greek Village numerous times last week. The individual was reported for making a girl feel unsafe — which is saying a lot for Greek Village. The vagrant walked to the back porch of the Chi Psi fraternity house and asked some students for cigarettes. The man had an active trespass notice and had a serrated knife on his person.
Not my treat, Feb. 12 9:34 p.m.
A student reported his wallet stolen after he noticed his CarolinaCard was used at Marble Slab in Russell House the day before. The thief spent $6.59 on a late-night snack. The culprit’s choice was actually fairly frugal; they could have helped themselves to an entire cookie cake with the stolen Carolina Cash. The victim has since deactivated his card.
USC Cribs, Feb. 14 10 a.m.
The 650 Lincoln property manager called police after a worker responding to a maintenance request noticed a large 650 Lincoln banner in student’s apartment. They also found two 650 Lincoln pillows and an ironic USC "No smoking" sign along with a bong, grinder and blowtorch in plain view. Maybe next time these students will learn to decorate their place with tapestries and posters like everyone else.
Bad week for Bates, Feb. 14 6:30 - 7:03 p.m.
Bates House faced more crimes last week than anywhere else on campus including four larcenies, three alcohol-related incidents and one peeping Tom. Three larcenies took place on the same hall and left an interesting collection of items missing. These included three toothbrushes, two packs of mechanical pencils, a Patriots hat and a first aid kit. Sounds like the thief is just a bandwagon football fan who cares a lot about hygiene and studying.