Green Quad Throwing Up, Feb. 5 2:02 a.m.
Students steered clear of the Green Quad stairwell after an intoxicated male vomited on the steps. Police found him with his "head in his hands and elbows on his knees," the standard body language for someone who has just taken an "L" of this nature. With a puddle of vomit between his feet, he admitted to police that he had been drinking vodka before returning to his dorm. The lesson here is if you’re trying to hold your liquor, take the elevator, not the steps.
Russell House Snoozer, Feb. 4 10:20 p.m.
Police found a man snoozing on a couch in Russell House Saturday night. It’s unclear how he was able to fall asleep on the stiff seating on the second floor. After waking and identifying him, they found this was his second time trespassing and notified him he is no longer allowed on USC property. He also had a box cutter on him that was confiscated by police.
Coyote, Feb. 5 10:50 a.m.
"Coyote ugly" was not the case for one wild animal on USC property this week. While patrolling university-controlled woods behind Gamecock Park, officers found a coyote with its leg caught in a trap. They determined the traps had been set by a wildlife biologist; however, further inspection revealed they were illegal. The coyote was freed, but because of a severed artery, it was euthanized.
Stolen Sign, Feb. 5 10 a.m. - 1:30 p.m.
“If you’re reading this someone took my banner,” is what Student Body Vice President candidate Jay Selesky’s new Student Government elections banner read due to the fact that his first one was stolen. Selesky reported the larceny of the sign valued at $110 that hung on the brick wall across from Russell House. And a week later the thief has yet to be caught, because the banner was stolen again. Selesky tweeted, "Reward at least $11."
Capstone Restroom, Feb. 5 9:24 p.m.
Capstone residents were in for a surprise when they went to relieve themselves Sunday morning. A homeless man was reported sleeping in the men’s bathroom stall. He left before police arrived, but they identified him by his clothes walking between Capstone and Columbia Hall. After he provided false identification, he was placed in investigative detention. After revealing his true identity, police determined he has been on trespass notice for all of USC since January.