The Daily Gamecock

Issue date: 2/25/08 Section: Viewpoints

Thomas Moore, Second-year English student

There comes a time in every man's life when he must stand up to the truth - no matter how ugly it may be - and accept it for what it is.

Only recently have I been able to accept the universal truth: visits to the men's room in a public setting will always be awkward.

Ladies, to fully grasp the dynamics present in such a scenario, there are a few essential details that must be noted. For one, when women use the bathroom, there is no question about the privacy of their stall. When men use the restroom, we are literally holding our most private item in our hands while standing directly adjacent to another man. As you can imagine, this creates a unique tension.

Second, there is probably nothing more demeaning to the straight male than to be confused for a gay male. I don't know whether such a misunderstanding is offensive because of a current of underlying homophobia or the desire to be understood for whom one truly is.

But I do know this: such an accusation is a loaded one. Such an accusation, particularly with any shred of supporting evidence, could be a crushing blow. As a result, I closely study the wall of the bathroom when peeing, hoping to discover why the situation I'm in is awkward.

And then I had an epiphany with my fly open: the awkwardness of public urination stems not so much from my own personal discomfort of the situation as it does from my perceptions about the discomfort of others. In plain English, I don't know how the guy peeing next to me feels about all this, so I avoid communication of any sort.

In a way, it's an instinctual defense. People have certainly been punched for less than being accused of peeking at someone else's junk.

But with every situation, there are exceptions. Say you're peeing next to your best buddy. In this situation, talking is permissible, as it doesn't require establishing an initial connection with someone while your privates are in the hand you shake with. Or, if one gentleman chooses the stall while another chooses the urinal, friendly banter between unknown parties is not unheard of.

What we can then discover about ourselves from a brief trip inside a men's restroom is how comfortable we are with ourselves, how we perceive the intentions and thoughts of other males and exactly how homophobic we are.

Ultimately, however, there is no breaking down the homophobic barrier in the men's restroom. The brave soul attempting to do so would undoubtedly end up with a tainted reputation, a black eye or even a possible visit to the hospital.

It looks like peeing in public will never cease to be awkward.

Page 1 of 1

Article Tools