2008 Woodie Awards
Cigarettes erase girls' efforts to look good
Unhealthy, unglamorous future ahead for ladies who choose to puff it up
Cory Burkarth
Issue date: 2/26/08 Section: Viewpoints
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Usually, as a sports fan, I would say that any time you can come across a girl that enjoys talking about sports, you might as well get down on one knee and put a ring on her finger, because it could be years before you come across that kind of girl again.
So, we were talking and she was telling me what she thought the football team needed to do to improve for next season, and I was picturing in my head what she would look like about 20 years down the road.
Then all of a sudden, that dream turned into a nightmare when the girl I thought could be my first ex-wife blew a big fat cloud of smoke into my face. Then I realized that she had her lips wrapped around a cigarette that honestly seemed longer than the finger that was holding it.
So, as quickly as I could, I pretended that I felt my phone vibrating, told her I had to answer it and got off of that porch in less time than it took the basketball team to choke away the game against Mississippi State on Saturday.
Later that week I was walking to my political science class when another pretty good-looking girl approached my friend and me and asked both of us if we had a lighter she could borrow. My response, "No but you could just quit smoking."
The point of this is very simple: if you are a very attractive girl, or even if you are a girl that thinks she is attractive, smoking a cigarette can take you from being a perfect 10 to the image of some old woman with a saggy face dragging an oxygen tank with her.
Obviously, if you want to smoke, then that is certainly your right and I say go buy your pack of Virginia Slims to kill over the course of an evening. But just know, as gorgeous as your hair may look and as pretty as your outfit will be, the smell of cigarette smoke coming off of your breath will pretty much erase your efforts to look good.
Now, by no means am I one to tell anybody how to live their life, but just keep in mind that if you continue to smoke, the future of your life will probably depend on you spending years on a transplant list waiting for some 10-year-old kid to die so you can get a hold of his clean and pristine lungs.
It's not cute, it's not attractive and you really do look like a chimney. Like my second-grade teacher once said, "Smoke free is the way to be."
Viewing Comments 1 - 10 of 19
ClassOf08
posted 2/26/08 @ 6:23 AM EST
I completely agree - but I think it also goes both ways. Guys that light up are no longer attractive. I don't care if you lift weights, won Discovery Day, or have had your own concert. (Continued…)
Zachary
posted 2/26/08 @ 7:12 AM EST
I agree. There's no bigger turn off than a cigarette.
Mike
posted 2/26/08 @ 8:33 AM EST
I am an ex-smoker and until recently never knew how bad ciggarettes smelled... when you smoke you can't really smell the smoke on someone else. But, smoker or not, I still know a pretentious ass when I hear one. (Continued…)
Thomas
posted 2/26/08 @ 11:06 AM EST
First of all, I'd like you to know that my girlfriend looks unbelievably sexy when she smokes her cigarettes. Next, I wonder if you realize what you sound like when you say things like, "No, but you could just quit smoking. (Continued…)
Phil
posted 2/26/08 @ 1:22 PM EST
If any fine USC ladies are offended by this article, just know that there is at least one guy out there who WILL let you use his lighter and who WILL enjoy a nice after sex smoke with you. (Continued…)
Jamie
posted 2/26/08 @ 2:43 PM EST
im glad i don't smoke (:
Katie
posted 2/26/08 @ 4:01 PM EST
This is one of the best articles I've read in a long time. It's completely true. Everytime I walk by a girl (or guy for that matter) who's smoking, I just want to say, "you know, smoking doesn't make you look pretty or cute or anything, it's really just a big turn-off. (Continued…)
Kirstie
posted 2/26/08 @ 4:11 PM EST
What else is on your list of things to not look for in a spouse? If its all unhealthy things, then drinking, eating fast food, not exercising, not wearing glasses, not getting the yearly check up, not covering her mouth when she sneezes, and many other every day habits should be on your list. (Continued…)
lance
posted 2/26/08 @ 4:19 PM EST
why dont you first ask if she is even trying to impress you? maybe she just likes talking to guys about sports, and she really doesn't care about anything else. (Continued…)
Tanner S
posted 2/26/08 @ 6:16 PM EST
Okay, I realize this is the viewpoints section and not hard news, but this still seems rather inane. This article has all the veracity of a MySpace blog. (Continued…)
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