TALKIN' TRASH: USC

It’s become a tradition for the sports editors of The Daily Gamecock and The Tiger to exchange columns during the week of the South Carolina-Clemson football game.

Unfortunately, it’s also become tradition to run the same old comments year after year. The insults toward Clemson cheerleaders and farmers have become old, stale and stagnant.

As a South Carolina student, I can accept the fact that the Tigers generally get the best of USC in the annual Battle of the Palmetto State.

So no, I won’t be ripping the Tigers’ “prowess” on the football field. Actually, it’ll be quite the contrary.

I’m going to tell you why I love Clemson University.

Without further ado, let the lovefest begin.

I love Clemson because they rush the field after beating a 4-4 Florida State team.

I love Clemson because of Yabo-Dabo-Doo. His secret love affair with the rock is exciting, to say the least.

I love Aaron Kelly for dropping the go-ahead touchdown in the fourth quarter that would have clinched an ACC title berth.

I love the Tigers for beating Miami in the Orange Bowl then losing at Duke the next week. Lest we forget that it wasn’t the average Blue Devils of today, but rather the 2-8 Blue Devils who won their first conference game since God knows when.

I love Clemson’s all-purple uniforms.

I love Clemson for being slapped with probation right after winning the national championship in 1981. Let’s hope IPTAY’s involvement was worth it. Knowing those guys, I’m sure they’re happy with the outcome.

I love it when Clemson plays in the Humiliation, I mean Humanitarian Bowl in Boise, Idaho. I forget what it’s called now, but let’s face it, is it really relevant anyway?

I love the orange overalls fans wear on gameday. How can you not?

I love Clemson for losing to a vastly inferior Maryland team three out of the last four years.
I love Clemson for always seeming to lose to Georgia Tech. Three straight wins now over the Tigers. Good luck in that ACC Championship Game. Wonder if it’ll be like 2004 when the Tigers lost by four after giving up 10 points in the last two minutes.

Even better is the Clemson fan on YouTube after the Georgia Tech loss. The commentators ragging him for a solid four minutes is pretty comical, too.

I loved Clemson when former cornerback Duane Coleman was pulled over and asked if he was in possession of any drugs or weapons. His response? “We done smoked it.”

I love Clemson for losing to Kentucky in the Music City Bowl – a team Carolina hasn’t lost to this decade.

I love Clemson football for holding a fantasy camp. Old guys jumping around in tight jerseys are hilarious. I especially love the fake press conferences after the fake game. Talk about living in the past.

But it isn’t just Clemson football that has my heart. I have a growing affection for other Tiger sports as well.

I love the blank stare on the face of Oliver Purnell after his team loses in the first round of the NCAA Tournament. Again.

I love Terrence Ogelsby just in general. His dunk, or lack thereof, against Duke was one for the ages. Where’s he playing now? 4-H club?

I love Clemson baseball coach Jack (nine out of 12 losses to USC) Leggett.

I suppose that what I’m trying to say is don’t hate on Clemson. Carolina fans, just remember: they may beat you the majority of the time. They may be in an easier conference. They may have a national championship.

But the manner in which they go about doing these things is so gosh darned funny that you just can’t help but love ‘em. Let’s face facts, Gamecock fans. The Tigers have our number, no doubt about it. But humility has had the Tigers’ number for years. How can you have a team that goes through more gut-wrenching choke jobs and embarassments? You gotta love ‘em!

But if that doesn’t do it for you, then their women are ugly and they copulate with cows. There, I said it.
 

11 comments

annonymous

Sun Dec 13 2009 18:45

Classy USC, classy.

oh well

Sun Nov 29 2009 21:42

Oh and by saying that their women copulate with cows he is suggesting that they have male genitalia and therefore you are very, very wrong PCD. go copulate with some of your ugly women

oh well

Sun Nov 29 2009 21:40

Hey PCD, Mathew, and Sparky... Clemson got their tails handed to them and you are all in for a year of trash talking. You can talk history all you want, but all we gotta say is 34-17.

ChrisCoxRules

Sat Nov 28 2009 15:24

SCOREBOARD.

simple and to the point

Wed Nov 25 2009 19:10

your mother

Sparky

Wed Nov 25 2009 13:38

Bottom line, Clemson wins again. Beats South Carolina by at least 14.
Another 365 days of smack talking.

pcd1000

Wed Nov 25 2009 11:16

Hey Joe, as it is written, the "they" in that sentence can only relate to "their women". The conjunction "and" is the tie that binds them together. Furthermore, it is not a grammatical error. But let's get over that and get to the heart of Chris's article, a litany of Clemson's shortcomings in a variety of sports over the years that are admired by USC fans. It is this kind of admiration that has contributed and will continue to contribute to the mediocrity of USC's football program. The outrage of USC fans with the enormous failures of its football program over the years is buffeted by this kind of admiration. Sad. Look inward and stay there until you get the job done. Reviewing someone elses failures will never bring you success. Go TIGERS.

matthew

Tue Nov 24 2009 23:56

boy, getting beat by clemson every year sure does get u carolina students all upset doesn't it?

Joe

Tue Nov 24 2009 18:02

pcd100, Obviously you didn't notice that the "they" in that sentence refers to Clemson fans in general, therefore, it can be assumed he was addressing the men of Clemson. Way to be a grammar nazi and be incorrect about it, though.

pcd1000

Tue Nov 24 2009 17:02

Copulate, ah that is a big word to be using when addressing USC fans albeit misused (they won't notice). How does a woman copulate with a cow? Generally speaking, copulation requires..........ah forget it. You will never understand. You are too accustomed to copulating yourself.

luther

Tue Nov 24 2009 11:52

Well done, but I still HATE Clemson; with passion.

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