If you’ve ever seen “American Gangster,” you’re familiar with Frank Lucas. In one scene, this man who became rich by importing and distributing drugs throughout New York says his brother’s new suit is “too loud” — that it was drawing too much attention to his brother. Lucas says that “the loudest [man] in the room is the weakest [man] in the room.”
This might have been one of the more unexciting parts of the violent action movie, but it should not be ignored.
We’re shown that when you’re winning, when you’re up in life, you should let people know just how high you’ve risen. We’re also shown that the most effective way to combat an opposing force is with equal or greater force. If someone says how bad of a person you are in front of a group of people, the urge is to fire back in retaliation.
It takes a high degree of self-control to restrain yourself from verbal combat against someone who has preemptively fired upon you, but the results of your nonactions can be astounding. When you respond to someone talking down to you, you’ve stooped to your opponent’s level. But when you allow that person to gain the attention in the argument, his or her true character shows. That person has nothing to reply to and soon runs out of ammunition, each word sounding emptier than the last.
It’s the lesson we were taught by our parents in elementary school, when we’d tell them someone called us names. Each time you want to strike back, just say nothing and walk away. The power of silence becomes apparent.
By not stooping to low levels, you’re giving opponents nothing to build a case against you and, in turn, showing exactly how much you care about their words — not at all. It’s the most effective response, just not the most common.