The $2.4 million USC Connect promises to engage us with frilly technology so complicated we can barely understand it. We're sure it will be just lovely. But first, we'd like a working email system.
And, could it be complemented with a functioning Blackboard? Maybe even VIP could work, if it's not too much to ask.
We know this seems like an unreasonable request. Asking the university's technology system — which we each pay hundreds every year to use — to properly function is only another demand from a crowd of hooligan students who signed up for the newspaper and refuse to shut up.
Let's compromise. Here are our proposals:
— We've watched this campus's technology system fail over and over again in recent years. We've seen daylong Blackboard outages, especially nice during final exam periods. "Intermittent" VIP outages that span hours. Long periods without email. So every time technology breaks, give us part of our technology fee back. This happens in the real world, by the way. When a product doesn't work, there's a refund.
— Maybe 30,000 of us surprised the university on the first day of class by signing on and crashing the server. There was surely little notice we'd arrive. So, let's just make sure the right mechanisms are in place for technology to work during the beginning of each semester, around midterms and during final exams. If you want technology during the rest of the year, too bad.
At this point, you're probably thinking neither of these options make sense. And you're right — they don't.
Want to know what else doesn't make sense? That a world-class, nationally ranked university can't provide consistent access to the basic services it requires students to use.