Scary movies continue to feature stock characters across decades
The month of October is mostly associated with Halloween, and Halloween is usually associated with horror, and nothing can scare you more than a great horror film (except maybe the stomach pain you’ll get from eating too much candy).
Why do we love horror films? As Kevin Smith said on AMC, those moments of shock make you feel just as alive as surviving a roller coaster ride. But no matter how scared you get when you watch them, you can’t help but laugh at all the stupid decisions made in these films and the clichés that have been used ever since the release of “Friday the 13th” (1980). If the horror genre is ever going to be truly scary again, here are some of the clichés that need to be avoided:
The Invincible Killer
I don’t care how much time you spent bulking up in prison or on a raging, bloodthirsty killing spree. GETTING SHOT HURTS. Considering all the iconic villains in horror like Michael Myers and Jason Voorhees, this has to be the most repeated cliché ever used. The villain just keeps coming back as if he’s been blessed by Satan. No matter how many times they get stabbed in the chest, fall to their death or are shot in the head, they still fake death and eventually rip our heads off.
Promiscuous Teenagers
In horror films, it’s always great to have a diverse cast. But in slasher films, we always get the same stereotypical characters, including the promiscuous girl. No matter how innocent she sounds when she’s terrified for her life, she is always going to be stabbed, slashed or tortured the moment she gives in to her promiscuous nature. This has been overused countless times and is getting way too predictable. Watch any of the “Friday the 13th” films or “Sorority Row” and you’ll understand what I am talking about.
The Split-Up Tactic
I was so stoked when “Cabin in the Woods” brought this up. Whatever happened to “strength in numbers?” You know, the tactic that helped the ancient Romans and the Spartans from “300” win so many battles. I mean, why do you think Shaggy and Scooby-Doo always ended up running into the monster when it was just the two of them? Because Fred always wanted to have alone time with the ladies.
The Heroine Survivor
Time for a pop quiz. Which character will be the most likely to survive a monster’s killing rampage? The hunky self-obsessed football player, his cheerleader girlfriend, their wise-cracking dope-smoker friend or the innocent virgin heroine? Hint: it’s definitely not the cheerleader who’s been around the block more than once. It’s always the preppy white virgin, as all the Christian aesthetics within classic horror films have shown us. So long as you’re pure, you’ll survive, even if it’s you that the killer monster is gunning for.
Stupid Cops
I know, we all hate when cops have to barge in and disrupt our wild Halloween parties, which makes the whole “cops getting killed” theme disturbingly appealing. But you can’t help but feel sorry for the cop killed while investigating your “help, someone is trying to kill me” call because the police department won’t take it seriously. And why do they always send policemen who lack peripheral vision?
The Location
In horror films, bad stuff usually goes down in some abandoned house where people were killed or some lake where a poor kid was drowned. Yet for some reason, somebody thinks it’s a great idea to either take a weekend trip to that same lake or move in or near that same house. So if people start dying or some ghost starts haunting dreams, do we blame the idiots who didn’t ask how Killer-Ghost Manor got its name? If not, they still deserve a punch in the face.
The Creepy Old Guy
Just once when I watch a horror movie about a group of teenagers taking a vacation to a lake house or cabin in the middle of the woods, I wish they’d listen to the creepy old guy at the gas station who warns them to turn back. I mean, what ever happened to listening to your elders? I’m pretty sure this guy has been around much longer than you, so he must know what he is talking about.