Q: My boyfriend just broke up with me. I have a class with him during the week, and the thought of seeing him day after day paralyzes me. Do you have any advice?
A: Listen: life is going to suck for a while. Maybe even a long while. That’s a given. There’s no way of getting back at him, and if you think there is, you shouldn’t. Revenge can take some seriously hurtful forms and isn’t worth thinking about. If he says its over, it’s over. That’s the first thing.
The second thing: If you physically cannot go to class with him there, then you should drop the class. I ’ m serious. You shouldn ’ t have to sacrifice your mental health for something you can finish up some other time.
Lastly: You have to get through this yourself. It ’ s important to have someone to talk to, and if you can find someone willing to help you deal with the first few days, fantastic. But doing this too much turns others into a crutch. They will get bored with you. If every conversation is about the ex — by the way you are both “ ex ’ s ” now — they will start to tune you out. Handing off your misery onto others is excusable, but not for long. Find help where you can, but keep in mind that this is your personal sorrow and no one else ’ s. The only one who can deal with it is you.
Q: My parents live in Columbia and they're always pestering me to come home for the weekend. I’m all for free food, but I want to experience college. How do I break it to them that I’m just not interested?
You have to tell them directly. If your parents are like most, they’ll understand that you need space to do your own thing. If you’re an only child, their feeling of detachment from their kid is magnified. Hard as it may be, give them a call and explain what you’re feeling. They’ll understand.
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