“Girls are not machines into which you drop kindness coins and expect sex to fall out.”
The quote above was a "yak" I viewed in mid-October. It is, without question, the best, the brightest, the biting-est soundbite I read during my brief but certainly memorable time with USC’s Yik Yak. See, I’ve become a self-proclaimed expert in “nice guy” activity because I used to be one. Sadly, I probably still am one, at heart. I’m doing my best to shake this seemingly harmless image. Of course, this is not to say that I frown upon the proper treatment of women, nor that I harbor some horrific Elliot Rodger-esque fantasy of imprisoning and torturing young women as retribution for romantic rejection. No, the reason I am trying to swear off the practice of being a “nice guy” is simple: nice guys aren’t that nice.The perceived nice guy problem, which prevents countless young men from realizing their romantic desires, is not the notion that girls exclusively date catcalling frat stars. The true nice guy problem lies with self-denial. The proverbial nice guy will tell you he’ll do anything for you. Lend you his coat. Hang on breathlessly to every word that passes your lips. Steal you an entire orchestra. (HIMYM fans? Anyone?)
But like everything else, this pampering comes with a price. He will not state it at first. Instead, he will keep it under wraps. At first. I won’t mention it in an award-winning college paper, which I’m sure wants to preserve its journalistic integrity, but I think we all know what it is.
Ah, screw this. It’s sex. There. I said it. Nice guys just want to take a lengthy, alternate route into your pants.
On the other hand, guys who are genuinely nice do nice things and respect women because it’s what they do. They are simply acting on instinct. Men-in-training, if you will. They don’t need a reward to validate their position in society, but, hey, it would be most welcome if offered.
Self-dubbed nice guys act under the assumption that the women of our society are so fed up with misogyny that they will throw themselves at the first able-bodied male that holds open a door for them. Thankfully, this is not the case.
So, boys, the next time you gaze wonderingly at that blonde in your class, remember this: she is a human being. She owes you nothing. And, if the time comes that she chooses the d-bag in the back row over you, she has every right to. It doesn't mean she hates respectful men. It means she isn't attracted to you. Or maybe she loathes your seventh-grade attitude of sexual entitlement. My advice: respect her decision, and keep your trap shut.
Because at the heart of true gallantry, that one trait you claim to spew all over every female in the general public, lies respect. Let it flow.