Oh, 2016. What a wild ride it has been. Between the talk of Kim K’s robbery, Beyoncé’s latest album and the fate of Jon Snow, politics and the election have seeped their way into every nook and cranny of our conversations this year.
But the election has come and gone, meaning the undeniable tension between you and your grandfather can subside. The words "loser" and "huge" and the general idea of emails are forever branded as being reminders of the 2016 election. We won’t ever be able to look at Scott Baio or a red Woolrich sweater the same way, but that’s okay, America never had much stock in either of those things.
Finally, we can get back to talking about things that don’t fill us with dread and make us think President Snow from “The Hunger Games” is about to pop up and declare South Carolina ‘District 12.’ Now we can talk about things like:
Remember when America treated Canada like the school nerd that we shook down for lunch money every day?
“How I Met Your Mother” and “That '70s Show” always poked fun at our northern neighbor about their funny accents and overly polite mannerisms. It seems all of our schoolyard name-calling vanished once we realized Canada had the hottest prime minister ever, along with the fact that they weren't in the middle of a divisive election.
But now that we’ve made our choice, America can get back to mocking the relentless “ehs” our neighbors always through into their conversations and how 60 percent of their population is moose.
Canada, you let us lean on you in our time of need, but now it’s time we return to what we do best — making ourselves look better by mocking you.
So many of our televisions have been congested with Kellyanne Conway and Megyn Kelly that it feels like we’ve fallen into a Fox News wormhole for the past 15 months. But now, what’s really important is binge-watching mediocre television and sobbing every time Shonda Rhimes kills off a beloved character.
You’ll be able to watch “Veep” without breaking a sweat wondering if Julia Louis-Dreyfus somehow caused the disaster of an election. You can sit through the latest “Game of Thrones” and not feel a disturbing realization that Cersei and Joffrey are as cut-throat as this year’s batch of candidates.
Rightfully so, Twitter should be filled with talk of Negan’s latest victims on “The Walking Dead” rather than your friends and every celebrity you follow reminding you to vote.
Talking with Family
While the topics of politics, religion and money are off-limits for any family function, it seems the political landscape of 2016 is too orange and pantsuit-filled for anyone to ignore.
This holiday season, America can finally converse with aunts, uncles and cousins without the threat of “Hillary for Prison” or accusations of being a deplorable coming up in the conversation.
Your grandfather can finally ask you about your schoolwork instead of skirting around the question of whom you’ll be voting for, and your sibling will finally shut up about how Gary Johnson would have saved this country.
The amount of pandering and name-calling in this election left America feeling like it was caught up in the middle of a petty twitter fight between two 13 year-olds rather than a presidential election, but some things will go back to normal.
You can finally wear your red baseball cap without wondering if people are thinking you want to "make America great again." You can even carry your hot sauce in your bag as homage to Beyoncé without feeling like Clinton groveling on a radio show.
That red pantsuit you bought won’t remind everyone of Lena Dunham’s awful rapping and “Clueless” can be rewatched without feeling weird about Stacey Dash and whatever it is she’s doing nowadays. Maybe we’ll even begin to think fondly of baskets again, but that may take time.
The rest of 2016 should be spent the way Americans want and deserve — complaining about Starbucks' holiday cups, wondering which dips you’ll make for the Super Bowl and mourning the death of Harambe.