Thanksgiving, that wonderful time of year when you're surrounded by delicious food, festive fall activities — and who can forget the family reunions? Although Thanksgiving is a wonderful time, sometimes the conversations family members start up are overbearing and repetitive. If you catch your grandpa asking you about politics or your relationship status again, check out these ways to steer the conversation in a different direction.
1. Eat or be eaten
Not quite to this extent, but you should take advantage of some good home cooking while you’re home for Thanksgiving. Also, if you steer every conversation toward food, everyone is happy.
No one can ask you about your future or talk about politics — you’re all just enjoying good food. Even when the main meal is over, there will be leftovers and there will be desserts. You can compliment the cooks over and over again.
Pro tip: If you have a mouth full of food, you can’t answer questions because it’s rude. Always have food in your mouth, food entering your mouth or be in search of food for your mouth. This is a valid excuse to avoid any question.
2. YOU ask the questions
You should come to any gathering prepared to engage with family members who do not understand privacy and personal space. When you see a relative or family friend bee-line towards you in a crowd, you know you need to get ready.
Before Uncle Joe can tell you about how the major you chose comes with dying career options or ask why you decided to get an ungodly nose ring, you cut to the chase.
Here are some questions: How is your daughter doing? Where is your wife? Did you do something to your hair? Still haven’t gotten that promotion? How is your dog? Do you regret choosing your career?
They’ll probably leave the conversation before you do, and no questions will have been asked. If you’re lucky, the news of your conversation will spread like wildfire and everyone will avoid you for the rest of the night.
3. Break out of the house
You are not a prisoner. You are not a prisoner. You are not a prisoner.
Make sure you have a list of excuses to use, a number of friends you want to hang out with and a full tank of gas before you enter the threshold of your home.
Offer your services to your parents or grandparents. If they mention needing something, be the first to eagerly say you can go to the store and grab it for them. If you see something that needs to be done, offer to do it. This will not only give you brownie points with the family, but you can probably get out of the house for a long time, too.
4. Keep the family bewildered with your kindness and thankfulness
If you come home and you’re constantly being sweet and kind, your family may stay away from you because they are afraid. What has happened to their child?
Example: If your siblings pick a fight with you, bite your tongue and smile at them, perhaps even give them a big hug and tell them that you love them. If your parents do something disagreeable, look at them with a sad smile and tell them you are thankful for them.
Disclaimer: this tip is very hard to do and might create even more issues if you do it insincerely. Execute with caution.
5. Pets are your only friends now
If you are in a household that has a pet, befriend it immediately. Self-explanatory.
6. Come prepared
Do your research now and understand all of the things on this list. You should have a phone charger handy, and know where the exits and bathrooms are. Know any potential threats and make sure you know who you can trust.
7. Distractions are everything
If there is a television near the main point of gathering, claim your spot. Even if you don’t like what is playing, you can look interested in it and others will leave you alone.
If you can find someone who loves talking about themselves, start up a conversation. Any questions they ask you will soon be deflected onto them.
Babies are also a good option here. If you can get your hands on a baby and don’t mind holding and playing with it, this would be the way to go. Babies are not only cute and laugh at a lot of things, they’re a handful and will surely distract any attention off of you.
8. Enjoy it
You’re home for less than a week. Spend time with the people you love, eat some good food and make sure to look around and remember to be thankful for what you’ve got.
Keep a positive outlook and remember that you’ll be back in a crowded living space with microwavable food and too many papers to write in no time. After remembering that, the questions you get from random family friends and relatives might not seem so bad after all.