‘I Am Number Four’ plays off tired romance, fails to break new ground with bland cast
With some of the most successful movie franchises centering solely on teen vampires, werewolves and wizards, why not start a franchise on teen aliens?
I’ll tell you why not. After all of the recent attempts to create science fiction movie franchises, the idea has become more unoriginal than country artists singing about farm life. This is why films like “Eragon” (2006) and “Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief” (2010) have been discontinued.
What we have here combines the noisy special effects from “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen” (2009) and the sappy teen romance from “Twilight” (2008). “I Am Number Four” is more like the stench of number two from director D.J. Caruso (“Disturbia”) and producer Michael Bay (“Armageddon,” “Transformers”).
The mythology behind the story, though vague and sloppy, makes the movie sound interesting, but it feels like nothing more than a knockoff from the “Twilight” series. The difference is that “I Am Number Four” proves to be way more juvenile than “Twilight.” While the latter was a decent film, “I Am Number Four” is woefully half-baked and unoriginal with a cast that delivers vain performances and Bay’s signature use of extravagant special effects.
Based off a planned science fiction fantasy book series, the story starts off with John (Alex Pettyfer) and his guardian Henri (Timothy Olyphant), moving from Florida to the ironically named Paradise, Ohio. John is one of nine children with special abilities from the exterminated planet Lorien. The surviving Loriens on Earth are being hunted by the Mogadorians and can only be killed in a certain numerical sequence. After three of the survivors were killed, John is Number 4.
When John blends in with the high school crowd, the movie reveals its adolescent content and sentimental teen romance, as well as some classroom stereotypes. He falls in love with the picture-taking outcast, Sarah (Dianna Agron), which happens only once in a lifetime for a Lorien.
The jocks bully the science geek (Callan McAuliffe) who becomes John’s best friend. Also, a sociopathic high school bully (Jake Abel) victimizes John as he develops a relationship with Sarah.
The bland cast of young performers will make you think that they are modeling for Abercrombie & Fitch. Pettyfer serves as the hunky lead for the female eye, as he has throughout his entire acting career, while his character acts as the Edward Cullen of outer space. Agron, stripped of her “Glee” cheerleader outfit, acts as eye candy for male teenagers. Also, the director seems to think that the film benefits from the vigorous, leather-wearing Number 6 (Teresa Palmer).
The screenplay does the film no favors, filling the movie with senseless action and, as the story staggers along, trying too hard to explain away plot holes, while eventually covering up even bigger plot holes. For example, Henri gives John a box that supposedly contains a secret from John’s deceased father, and yet the box is never opened.
Once Bay was announced as the producer, “I Am Number Four” was already doomed. As expected from a Bay film, “I Am Number Four” consists of the same earsplitting effects that basically ruin the narrative for Bay’s films. The physically impossible battle toward the end of the film is all special effects, with concise outbreaks of frivolous dialogue in the mix. Also, some of the effects prove to be pretty pointless, such as John’s flashlight hands seemingly acting as a replacement for testosterone.
Though a sequel to the film has yet to be announced, let’s hope it’s not in the works. With an unconvincing cast and derivative plot, “I Am Number Four” fails to build an audience beyond fans of the book. The producers probably considered that the words “best-seller” and “young adult” are enough to create a “Harry Potter”-based box office spectacle. Sorry, producers, but “I Am” not impressed.