“30 Minutes or Less” is a very aptly named film, with its title fully alerting the viewer of the amount of time they will be entertained.
This wouldn’t hold true if there was no “or less” at the end of the title, because saying this film has at least 30 minutes of pure entertainment value would be a horrible and gross exaggeration.
It is not that the film is atrocious (well actually, at times it is). It just is such an enormous waste of comedic talent that not capitalizing on the cast should result in director Ruben Fleischer’s SAG card being suspended.
Fresh off his directorial debut of the surprisingly hilarious “Zombieland” (2009), Fleischer has enough Hollywood credibility that he can score almost any comedic actor for his films. But, as the Miami Heat illustrated this year, more stars doesn’t mean more success.
The film follows Nick (Jesse Eisenberg), a pizza delivery boy with only one job requirement — to get the pizza to the customer’s home in 30 minutes (he is no overachiever, so that doesn’t always happen). He lives with his best and seemingly only friend Chet (Aziz Ansari), a substitute teacher living in a house that is way too nice for their combined salaries. Then again, this film really isn’t based in reality.
The friendship between these two is supposed to be the crux of the film, yet it’s really one of the main undoings. The pair lacks chemistry, making their conversations very clunky and dull. However, it seems Fleischer caught on and made them constantly discuss their “best friendship” unashamedly, as most grown men are prone to do, so we as the audience can be fully aware of how close they are.
After a good 20 minutes of what would normally be banter between Nick and Chet (spoiler: It’s not), we are introduced to Dwayne and Travis (played by Danny McBride and Nick Swardson), two 30-somethings who occupy their time doing what most 16-year-old boys do when they are stoned. The only thing keeping them from this lifestyle of blowing up watermelons and watching topless scenes in 3-D is Dwayne’s wealthy ex-military father, who hates his son in a way that only a disappointed father could.
Finally, Dwayne’s father belittles them with enough gay slurs that it is surprising Ryan Murphy hasn’t made a “Glee” episode about it. This harassment prompts Dwayne to hatch a plan to kill his father. I would personally explain the plan, but it is so unnecessarily complicated and terrible that even rehashing it makes me realize how much money I wasted seeing this film.
After three or four plot complications, the film arrives at Nick being strapped with a bomb and forced to rob a bank in order to get $100,000, for Dwayne and Travis to pay the hit man they hired to kill Dwayne’s father. It makes perfect sense — it’s just a really stupid plan.
If that plot synopsis is not enough evidence that someone did not proofread the script, perhaps the major plot holes that were left unresolved may be an indicator — not minor ones, but ones along the lines of not wrapping up certain pivotal characters’ story lines. But, let’s be completely honest, it makes the film end much earlier, which is the only thing it did right.
Aspects like these give the film a very unpolished and sloppy feel, but most likely Fleischer knew with such a stellar cast and a moderately humorous trailer (which includes all the laughs in the film), people would see it regardless.
Buying a ticket to “30 Minutes or Less” is like purchasing a losing lottery ticket. In the end, all you have is a stub and a strong sense of regret.