Jukebox musical better suited for Broadway stage
Hollywood's fascination with bringing Broadway musicals to the big screen is something I will never understand. One of the last ones to hit theaters, "Mamma Mia" (2008), proved that the whole jukebox musical thing is more enjoyable on the big stage than the big screen.
"Rock of Ages" is no different.
The story is filled with clichés at every corner from the dreamers, like Sherrie Christian (Julianne Hough) and Drew Boley (Diego Boneta), to the schemers, like Patricia (Catherine Zeta-Jones) and Paul (Paul Giamatti). Sherrie is a power-ballad belter from Tulsa who travels to Hollywood on a bus full of people that break into "Sister Christian." She meets and falls in love with rock-star wannabe Drew, who gets her a job as a barmaid at the Bourbon Room on the Sunset Strip.
The Bourbon Room used to be, but is no longer, the hottest club for rock 'n' roll lovers. Facing tax problems, its owner Dennis Dupree (Alec Baldwin) and manager Lonny Barnett (Russell Brand) are riding everything on a big rock show with astonishingly dissolute rocker Stacee Jaxx (Tom Cruise), who has agreed to play one final show with his band Arsenal before going solo — if the band's sleazy manager Paul can come through.
Also, the bar faces the wrath of the mayor's wife Patricia, who looks to "clean up the streets of the Strip" by shutting down the Bourbon Room. She also holds a personnel vendetta against Jaxx for very predictable reasons. Another subplot follows the growing sexual relationship between Jaxx and a Rolling Stone reporter (Malin Akerman).
Let me start by tackling the movie's biggest issue: the vocal range of these actors who sing various late 80's hits from bands like Foreigner, Bon Jovi, Guns N' Roses, Journey and Def Leppard. No matter how much you consider songs like "Pour Some Sugar on Me" or "Every Rose Has Its Thorn" timeless songs, it doesn't change the fact that these actors (with the exception of Mary J. Blige) lack the vocal range for the songs, which they do not sing with the right amount of passion or depth.
Out of all the performances, Cruise brings the most entertainment as the burned-out rock star. He doesn't bring adequate sexual energy to the role and he isn't as hilarious as he was in "Tropic Thunder," (2008) but he does show off a credible singing voice while rocking Bon Jovi's "Wanted Dead Or Alive."
All this cannot be said about the two young leads Hough and Boneta. As the pair of starry-eyed lovers, they are so bland and vapid that they make "High School Musical" look edgy. Hough may be a sweet-looking, blue-eyed blonde and one of the more polished vocalists in the film, but her singing is too generic and her acting is just as boring as it was in "Footloose" (2011).
If "Rock of Ages" deserves points for anything, it's for shamelessly piling on the campiness and silliness. Baldwin and Brand help provide some much-needed comic relief as they discover that they have a mutual affection for more than just rock 'n' roll and whiskey.
Bottom line: One of the opening songs, the Poison hit "Nothin' but a Good Time," says it all about this film. This is just an opportunity for the actors to do their own rendition of celebrity karaoke while the audience toe-taps to favorite 80's songs.
It may be "nothin' but a good time" for those who "want to rock," but the story is too generic, bland and long.