Seth Meyers brought the Saturday-night funny to a full Koger Center for the Arts audience Thursday.
The “Weekend Update” anchor’s show, which was sponsored by Carolina Productions, touched on everything from studying foreign language to the war in Afghanistan.
Students began lining up for the free performance more than an hour before Meyers was to start his set. The queue snaked awkwardly around the Koger Center’s handicapped parking lot and up the hill on the property. Free tickets were still available at the door, but most seats looked claimed by the time the lights went down.
Meyers had no opening act and only a very brief introduction, but it was obvious that everyone in attendance couldn’t wait for him to take the stage. As he casually stepped into the spotlight, the crowd erupted with thunderous applause and cheers that built up to a standing ovation once all the jokes were over.
Meyers began his set with a playful jab at Clemson.
“I only do shows for winners,” he said.
Meyers went on to take a poll of who was in the audience, poking fun at each group of students. To the youngest kids on campus, Meyers said, “Freshmen still think they have to raise their hands.” He chided the seniors about the job market they are about to enter.
“Based on your enthusiasm, you have not recently checked in on the state of the economy,” he said.
The comedian said he can always tell when he’s on a college campus because “you can just smell the futon.” He went on to explain that the best dual purpose items come in small packages.
“If your pen is a laser, you’re James Bond,” he said. “If your car is your house, you’re homeless.”
Meyers lived in Amsterdam for two years after graduating college. He said people who have lived abroad always make a point to tell their friends how amazing it was there and how much life sucks in America by saying things like, “Oh, it’s really hard for me to drink American beer now” or “accidentally on purpose” saying foreign words.
“Shakespeare wanted us all to know that he used to live in Latin,” he said in reference to the line “Et tu, Brute?” in “Julius Caesar.”
As he does on “SNL,” Meyers got political, describing Greece’s financial troubles (“I’m pretty sure it’s a yogurt-based economy”) and why South Carolinians should vote for Mark Sanford (“All politicians are liars. You might as well vote for the s——iest liar,” he said. “That guy’s the best.”).
Meyers made a lot of jokes about living with his girlfriend, saying she always makes him sound lower than he is when describing how she’s made him a better person (The joke had her saying, “I lured him into my car with a Kit Kat” at one point). He has a problem with having too many towels (“I guess I’m in the palace of Versailles”) and said reading while on the toilet makes him more human (“Without the magazine, I’m a horse. At least with the magazine, I’m a centaur.”).
The funny man ended his set with a handful of “Weekend Update” jokes the censors didn’t let him tell on live television. They ranged from punny (A man without arms who stole a TV “would’ve paid, but he couldn’t reach his wallet.”) to overtly sexual (In a joke about lesbians kissing at an IHOP, the punchline was, “We’re upset, but it’s not going to stop us from eating out.”), and it was easy to see why most of them didn’t make the broadcasts.