The Daily Gamecock

Column: Dating not a good way to find a partner


As many have experienced or are aware of, the relationship failure in today's society is astounding. Almost half of marriages end in divorce, and although divorce rates have declined some over recent years, it "still remains at a historically high rate."

But whether considering marriage or not, relationship failure is still steady. In terms of our demographic of college students, it's even easier to observe the amount of relationship turnover and the basic tendencies of ever-changing relationship statuses or switching between which person you're "talking to."

I would argue that one of the reasons for relationship failure is an unhealthy, inconsistent and unhelpful method of dating, talking, or whatever the kids are calling it these days. For one, even the "proper date," although somewhat more esteemed than current methods of courting such as Tinder, is flawed.

No one actually learns who the person they're dating is if they only see them in the setting of a date, where they're on their best behavior because they're getting a free meal and probably don't want to die alone. And when you enter into a relationship with someone you don't really know, the trouble starts, because there's a high chance you may not truly get along with or like that person.

To have a more complete understanding of who an individual is, you should spend time with them among other people. In particular, interactions with people who your date knows well and is comfortable around allow you the opportunity to find out who that person is because they'll be more willing to open up to those around them. So go hang out with a group of his or her friends. You may see how the cliche "you are who your friends are" isn't so far off.

Perhaps if we were to change our definition of dating to doing things in social settings with others in a non-exclusive approach — meaning we could "date" other people, not just one at a time — we would have a better chance of being able to find someone who we can connect with.


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