Film trades good storytelling for lavish costumes, design
Magic mirror on the wall, which is the least enchanting Snow White movie of them all?
Originally, the answer might have been “Sidney White” (2004), a modernized version of one of the most overworked fairy tale concepts. But the honor now goes to the most recent Brothers Grimm fairy tale adaptation “Mirror Mirror,” a visually sumptuous, light-hearted approach that lacks the passion of the animated Disney film.
In short, director Tarsem Singh (2011’s “Immortals”) does to “Snow White” what Tim Burton did to “Alice in Wonderland”: presents absolute visual splendor with lavish costumes and beautiful-to-look-at quirks while sacrificing any sign of storytelling.
Lily Collins (aka Phil Collins’ daughter, aka Collins Tuohy from 2009’s “The Blind Side”) plays Snow White, now celebrating her 18th birthday. Her father, the King (Sean Bean), disappears, leaving Snow White’s wicked stepmother the Queen (Julia Roberts) to run the kingdom into the ground. Facing financial problems, the Queen goes cougar for Prince Alcott (Armie Hammer) and looks to marry him, but the Prince has his eyes on Snow White.
To prevent Snow White from gaining the affection of the Prince or encouraging her downtrodden subjects against paying taxes, the Queen orders her slobbering courtier Brighton (Nathan Lane) to take Snow White into the forest and kill her. But alas, he can’t bear to do it himself because the movie would have been too short and the Queen would have won, so no surprise there. The Queen, meanwhile, tries to win over the Prince by concocting a love potion.
There are numerous changes here, the obvious of which is that the seven dwarves (Napoleon, Half Pint, Grub, Grimm, Wolf, Butcher and Chuckles) have gone from singing miners to bandits. Snow White becomes the leader of this band of thieves, and the dwarves teach her how to fight as she attempts to rescue the Prince and take back the kingdom.
Singh definitely shows he has an eye for visual imagery that borders on ingenious and over-reliant. Singh often flaunts vivid set designs and elaborate costumes, making “Mirror Mirror” absolute eye candy. In fact, he may just be paying too much attention to the visuals as the movie and its actors often get lost within the tedious, campy and humorless plot that’s about as thin and polished as the actual mirror.
Speaking of mirrors, I’d like to take a moment to analyze “Mirror Mirror’s” use of the iconic mirror scene. The mirror in this movie is actually a portal that takes the Queen to a Thai-like hut where she speaks to a looking-glass oracle. She asks the whole “fairest of them all” question, but the oracle never really tells her anything of the sort, discarding the sexual jealousy issue.
Because of this, Roberts’ Queen comes off as sad, lonely and clinically insane instead of wicked and menacing. This, in turn, makes the movie’s dominant message of youth triumphing over age and physical beauty over inner beauty much less entertaining.
The comedy is often sporadic and drops dead even with its attempts at self-awareness. I mean, placing the Prince under the spell of a “puppy love potion” that has him licking faces and bounding on all fours? That’s not funny; that’s lame.
Julia Roberts has her moments with occasional witty lines, but she’s about as menacing as a sweet old lady who reads bedtime stories to her grandchildren.
Collins, making her first starring role in a feature film, is supple and attractive in an Audrey Hepburn way, but her wardrobes in the movie make more of an impression than her acting ability. Like Roberts, she has her moments, but she really doesn’t pull off the whole warrior/thief-leader/princess role.
Even Hammer, who was excellent as the Winklevoss twins in “The Social Network” (2010), barely shows any charisma, and his romantic moments with Collins are borderline halfhearted.
Go ahead and call me “Grumpy,” but his movie definitely didn’t leave me “Happy.” Singh should indeed be “Bashful” toward his completely “Dopey” take on the beloved fairy tale that will no doubt leave postpubescent audiences “Sleepy.” Oh, did I forget to mention the awkwardly out-of-place Bollywood music sequence at the end of the film?