Women of USC I implore you: Please stop apologizing.
It’s something I’ve had to learn to do after realizing it, but maybe you don’t even realize it. I feel like at least a dozen times a day when I’m on campus I hear it: “Oops, sorry!”
We may have been going for the same set of weights at the gym, or I reached for paper towels over the sink where you were washing your hands, or the worst in my opinion, apologizing when you have been called on to answer a question in class. “Sorry, I just wanted to know if ...”
In none of these scenarios was one of us right and one of us wrong, it was just a coincidence that we ran into each other or went for the same thing yet you are apologizing for being in my way. And in the classroom scenario the teacher called on you specifically wanting to know what you had to say because it is your classroom and your education and not just that of those around you.
Women of USC, you are not in my way. You are not in anyone’s way. OK, maybe those in the middle of the crosswalk when you don’t have the right of way, but the rest of those minor interactions throughout the day where you feel you need to apologize for being there or reaching for something or crossing someone’s path, you have every right to be there.
It seems so minor, but if you apologize for washing your hands as I reach over you for the only still stocked paper towel dispenser you are saying you’re sorry to me as I invade your personal space. You are apologizing for being there and you have every right to be there where I am.
If you haven’t heard of the term manspreading, it’s the description for the amount of space that men take up in public place, which typically infringes on other people’s space. As women we have been trained to do the opposite.
We have been trained to cross our legs, hold our purses and fold our hands in our laps, leaving room for others thereby acting “like a lady.” I do see the logic of this when wearing a skirt or dress, but the rest of the time it’s not necessary and it's honestly uncomfortable. We sit there switching back and forth which leg goes over which because they fell asleep while the guys next to us are spreading out freely comfortable, like they own the place.
My sophomore year I read “B---- Manifesto” by Jo Freeman. I have identified with this piece ever since first reading it because it defines what a b---- really is: it’s a woman who acts like a man. Freeman says b----es “move their bodies freely rather than restrain, refine and confine their motions in the proper feminine manner.” She also says, “they have loud voices and often use them. [B----es] are not pretty.”
I would rather be a b---- than a lady because it means I don’t have to spend my days apologizing for my presence. I am not something petite and attractive to look at, I am a human being sitting across from you ready to participate in the conversation and voice my opinion.
This is my definition of the new feminism — not apologizing for being there. Apologizing implies I don’t think I should be there deep down. This simple change in your everyday life will begin to translate into your school life, your work life, your career and your relationships.
Next time you want to say “sorry” for being in someone’s way, please don’t. You are supposed to be there just as much as them, and there’s no better time than now to start acting like it.