Country/pop songstress plays Columbia’s Colonial Life Arena Saturday night with Ed Sheeran on ‘Red’ tour
Taylor Swift is going to paint Columbia “Red.” No? Got it.
Well, Miss Swift, known for her key chain full of broken hearts and pop-chart ballads, is coming to Columbia’s Colonial Life Arena Saturday on her “Red” tour in support of her fourth studio album. The 23-year-old country-turned-pop songstress dropped her latest album in October, sparking, arguably, the catchiest compilation of her career.
Like, really, have you heard “22”?
Swift is famous for a laundry list of Hollywood heartthrobs/lost loves, and the ditched dudes haven’t shaped a great image for the starlet. She knew they were trouble, but she still went for it. Every single time.
Say what you may, but each guy has resulted in more than one radio single. They are creative fuel for the blonde, blue-eyed beauty and, honestly, crucial to her process. So, let’s take a look back at her milestone relationships and which lent the best material to the mic.
Oh, and the “Red” show is sold out. But Ed Sheeran is opening and the show starts at 7 p.m. Catch a few chords from the Colonial Life front steps?
John John Florence
OK, they’re not dating. It was a rumor for a hot second and has since been dismissed as a little sarcasm on Florence’s part, but this relationship would make for great music. Florence, a surfer from Hawaii, would be the first blonde of the bunch, sporting a messy mop of tightly-twisted curls. He’s 20, a full three years younger than Swift, which should appease the singer’s current small-scale cougar trend (see: Harry Styles and Conor Kennedy). Also, Florence is 6 feet tall, the same height as Jake Gyllenhaal, who we know, courtesy of “Begin Again,” didn’t like it when Swift wore high heels. She’s 5 feet 11 inches, and that could be awkward for the insecure man.
Harry Styles
Oh, Harry. She knew your 19-year-old self was trouble, and now she’s lying on the cold, hard ground. There is still spite and hatred in the air two months after the end of their across-the-pond romance. Since Swift’s breakup with the One Direction star, she has admitted to UK’s Sunday Times that “I Knew You Were Trouble,” perhaps most famous for its screaming goat parody (or Jadeveon Clowney at a photo shoot), is about Styles. Also, her new video for “22,” featuring all her real-life besties frolicking on the beach, has a few square punches at her teenaged ex. Apparently the beanie, oversized sweater and skinny jeans are saying more than the first “dress up like hipsters” lyric. And I would say the best moment of this used-to-be romance was when Swift adopted a British accent for a pointed line of “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together.”
Conor Kennedy
Who doesn’t love Conor? He’s a Kennedy. My theory on the Conor-Taylor romance: she realized she was dating a non-famous, 18-year-old boy. He wasn’t a bad guy — he didn’t leave her lying on the floor in a beanie — he just didn’t have any drama. We can tell by the music that resulted from this relationship. “Starlight” is about Ethel and Robert Kennedy’s romance, which is sweet, but there’s no angst-y scenes or hidden messages. And “Everything Has Changed,” a cheery, light-hearted duet with Ed Sheeran about a new lease on love, spells out in capitalized letters in the “Red” album booklet: “Hyannis Port.” Let’s not forget, Hyannis Port is where Swift bought a house across the street from the Kennedy clan, which she has since flipped for a nearly million-dollar profit.
Jake Gyllenhaal
This is a good one. I’m a firm believer that Swift is still madly in love with Gyllenhaal. How couldn’t you be? The songs on “Red” about Gyllenhaal, and there are many, are sad. She’s working through a heartbreak — filtering through big-girl emotions and trying not to melt into a puddle of tears. There are a few sarcastic, biting jabs folded into her discography to Jake, but for the most part, you feel for the girl. “All Too Well” is the most gut-wrenching of the bunch, if not for the fact that she left her favorite scarf at Maggie Gyllenhaal’s house, then for the image of little Jake with rosy cheeks and big, goofy glasses. “Red,” the album’s title track, is also presumably about her fast fall into love with Mr. Gyllenhaal, color coding each raw, post-relationship emotion.
John Mayer
Dear John, this is the best one. Mayer and Swift didn’t share a particularly lengthy courtship — just long enough to sing backup on Mayer’s tragic track “Half Of My Heart” — but the pain was real. Very, very real. “Dear John” is the banner song of this romance, complete with Mayer-style guitar pulses waving on behind the “Don’t you think I was too young to be messed with?” and “The girl in the dress cried the whole way home.” Girl, he was 32. And he’s John Mayer. The other Mayer song, veiled with a little more pop flair, is “Story Of Us,” where Swift daydreams about the would-be, blissful life of the musical duo. Then there’s “But you held your pride like you should have held me” and those sweet sentiments fly right out the window.
Taylor Lautner
Well, we got “Valentine’s Day” out of this relationship, and that’s really all that matters. More seriously, “Back to December” is a truly tragic — in a good way — breakup song about Swift’s former beau.
Joe Jonas
I think the world met Swift and the most attractive Jonas brother in the same breath. They were launched as the ideal young Hollywood couple — him with a side-flipped waft of dark brown locks and her with golden curls and sun dresses — and when they ended in 2008, a Disney dream shattered. The Joe Jonas breakup songs happened when it was still OK for Swift to be writing spite-ridden ballads for all the world to hear. She was a teenager, and everyone understood her weeping heart. “Better Than Revenge” is the best Swift showing in the pointed references department. It was written about Camilla Belle, the brunette actress credited with breaking up Swift and Jonas. Like the signature in any high school yearbook, “Forever and Always” is also a milestone for the young, fresh-faced Swift and her first spotlight relationship.
ONLY A DREAM: Ed Sheeran
I don’t want to wish Swift upon Sheeran, because she could break his beautiful little heart, but I do think the British redhead is just grounded enough to up her maturity a few levels.